I spent my day in a new dress and with the boy who never fails to make me laugh. He bought me flowers & we went to the Cottage & stuffed ourselves silly & concluded the day with an exciting Game 4. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but I guess I’m one of them boring old folks now hahaha.

& like every year, I got reminded of how blessed I am for the people I have in my life.

Thank You. :)

My mom accidentally left her planner on my desk & I opened it to the first page absentmindedly.

What was printed in dark blue Sharpie pretty much pierced through my heart.

It’s going to be okay.

Everything will pass.

Everything.

& I just sat here & cried for a good ten minutes.

It’s getting harder and harder to breathe. I’m glad my brother is coming home soon for winter break. Haven’t really been able to talk to him because I was afraid of distracting him during finals.

breathebreathebreathebreathe

It’s hard to keep in touch when absolutely nothing is going on in your life, when your answer to the perennial “how are you doing?” is wretchedly monosyllabic. It’s funny how these questions evolve as you get older. From “how do you like your teacher?” to “what did you do over the summer?” to “where did you apply?” to “what’s your major?”

WHY are there signs that read “all employees MUST wash their hands after using facilities” in every single public bathroom?! Why do people need to be reminded of this? whywhywhwyhwyhwywhywhy

I straighten my naturally frizzy/curly/crazy bangs with a heated-to-370-degrees ceramic straightener everyday. But after a shower they always manage to arrange themselves back into their texture of choice, a look that calls to mind an ugly Mufasa. With a few repetitions of spritz clamp pull… the battle is over. But hmm, why is it that my hair has more willpower & strength & motivation than I do

This just in: a LDR is ridiculously stupidly difficult. Revelation of the century. I feel like such a pioneer for figuring this out. No strain, no danger though… just 보고싶단말야.

If you’ve read any of the books you would never had made that mistake. Harmless mistake, perhaps, but I am a proud nerd of that world & I take offense to these tiny things ahhhHh silly Muggle // unrelated: do you realize how your latest updates paint you? Is this really YOU? How could I have not noticed all these years? // related: PART 1 MOVIE YEEEE

I’ve found that it’s unnerving to be around a group of little kids if they don’t know you that well. Once you earn their trust (which in most cases is about five minutes later) they open up and start to serve you imaginary tea or shoot at you with their tiny finger guns or whatnot. But before that, they always just… stare at you blankly. It’s fine when it’s one kid, but imagine- eight or nine kids are staring up at you with their shiny eyes and no expression. They don’t look away, or feel uncomfortable, or smile fakely– that’s an adult thing. We “adults” can’t stand to meet eyes even for a few seconds. Life has a way of jading us. I want to preserve innocence à la Holden Caulfield.

I’m starting to really like Hello Kitty herself (I was more of a Pochacco girl growing up).

Cell phones are starting to cripple us. You called me out to have fun, right? How can we have fun if you’re on your phone most of the time? Can you see it’s dampening the mood of the group a little, especially since two of you aren’t fully with us…? UNGLUE your hands, PEEL your eyes away, please REJOIN me in the real world.

Can’t stand gLee anymore (the Britney episode that was continuously raved about through microblogs bored me to tears) but Dianna Agron is really pretty.

bruno mars @ the grove

I’m rather proud of this picture hehehe ;) Anyhow, the free “secret — know the location only through Twitter!” (it turns out the local radio station had been talking about it all afternoon) Bruno Mars concert at the Grove a few weeks ago was amazing. His voice is exactly the same as on the record… I love being pleasantly surprised like that. He ended up playing a 45-minute set. He said the event planners had told him it was okay to just play 3-4 songs & bail, but “screw that,” he said, “this is fun!” You could tell he was really enjoying himself up there & that attitude was infectious. I had Grenade stuck in my head for days afterwards, until it was replaced by Cee-lo Green’s Fuck You (also co-written by Mars xP)

Norcal trip last month with the roomie was fun. WICKED was phenomenal; I want to go see it again with the boyf. Chinatown, Pier 39 (aquarium!), Ghirardelli Square (tea boutique!), random Chinese dessert places (omg YUM), Santana Row. Reminded me how blessed I am, to be able to travel freely. Found out the other day my mother has been here since ’83, nearly 30 years. I didn’t realize it had been so long (I guess I should’ve figured it out considering my age and all). I can’t imagine going to a different country, learning a whole different language and customs. It’s pretty crazy what the first generation has done for us, yeah? Hate that I need a constant reminder. Can’t wait until I can send my mom&dad to Korea. On that note, I love Jack Donaghy hehehe

We are an immigrant nation. The first generation works its fingers to the bone and makes things. The second generation goes to college and innovates new ideas. The third generation… snowboards and takes improv classes.                                      —–30 Rock S5E3

Learned a new word the other day– maudlin (adj.): foolishly sentimental

Feeling like a 16y/o again,
A

Note to self: keep going to concerts. keep going to musicals. keep going to sports games. keep watching movies. don’t take the little things for granted. enjoy life. ENJOY LIFE. ENJOY LIFE. ENJOY ENJOY enJOY

Spent countless hours doing nothing today. Everybody so busybusybusy. So sure of their futures. So sure of what to do next. Supremely jealous. Supremely uneasy.

Graduated, sure, but feel like  just barely. Only a B.S. Only. B.S. bs. Not proud. A little ashamed.

Scared. Stressed. Not stressed enough. Definitely scared enough.

At my high school graduation, I am not ashamed to admit that, as I was walking out of the field with my fellow green robed Spartans, my tassel proudly waving in the wind on the left side of my square hat, huge tears were falling freely down my face. At the time I was unsure why I was crying. But I’ve come to realize it was… because of the goodbyes.

Goodbye to eating at Mister Ward’s class every lunch.

Goodbye to playing calculator tetris in the back row of Stats AP.

Goodbye to seeing all those familiar faces everyday.

Goodbye to South High.

Goodbye to life as I knew it.

But those “goodbyes” from four years ago were unbinding as most of us moved on together from the Torrance Unified School District to the UC system. & no matter how out of touch we were during the school year as we were making new friends and battling midterms, we always found a way to find each other again during the breaks.That’s what I love about my high school friends. There’s never an awkward moment.

Now that I’ve graduated from college, “goodbye” takes a whole different meaning.

I didn’t cry during graduation. I can count the names I recognized during the 90 minute commencement name reading on my fingers&toes, on one hand if you count the people I met more than twice. I guess this says a lot about my slightly (yeah, perhaps I’m giving myself a bit more credit than I deserve) antisocial personality, but it also speaks about the impersonal air about college, especially compared to high school.

But that also makes the people that you do get to know on a deeper level so much more dear… & the goodbyes that much harder.

With college friends, we don’t have a common area that we all congregate to every three months. College was where we met and made memories, and we no longer have any reason to return to it.

This. frightens. me. to. death.

I haven’t cried yet this June of 2010, but then again, I haven’t had to say many goodbyes yet. And the few goodbyes that I did go through, I don’t think the significance of them quite hit me, even now.

…

Congratulations to the Class of 2010. I wish us all luck in our endeavors.

(Goodbye)

(goodbye)

(goodbye)

(g o o d b y e)

I admit I was nervous for the past few days this time around. But right when the results loaded, my mind just went meh & that anxious knot in my stomach is now gone. Just. like. that.

Have I grown so accustomed to mediocrity that it doesn’t even affect me anymore…?

Took a very vague&general “get to know yourself better” (not my words!) personality test on facebook just now. The questions were very nonsensical like: you are walking by yourself; what do you see? You see something next to your feet; what is it? You come across a body of water; is it a lake/river/waterfall? & etcetc

I was pretty surprised by my results (ESPECIALLY the success one)! Wtfro! What does me seeing an ordinary house key rather than a pretty antique one in the random pond have to do with how serious I am about the boyf? Right??

Anyhow, didn’t feel like spamming random newsfeeds with my results (bc I know you think it’s interesting, but it really only is to people who care… ie: YOU), so I am posting it on MY turf. Heheheh.

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Your view on yourself:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend – you are looking for your life partner

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person

The seriousness of your love:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are very serious about relationships

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : If you meet the right person

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will fall deeply

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Beautifully in love

Your views on education:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Education is less important than the real world out there

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Away from the classroom

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Deep inside you want to start working

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Earning money

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Living on your own

The right job for you:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You’re a practical person

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Will choose a secure job with a steady income

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Knowing what you like to do is important

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Find a regular job doing just that

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You’ll be set for life

How do you view success:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of failure

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous

What are you most afraid of:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You don’t ever want to be unable to take care of yourself

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Independence is important to you

http://apps.facebook.com/yourself_btr/index.php

No matter how much I may change in the future, I feel like I’ll always find these kinds of tests really amusing :)

I am currently watching the 2010 Olympic ladies figure skating short program! Whoohoo my favorite sport to watch since I was a kid, thanks to the wonderful Michelle Kwan :)

<3/ALENA

Anyhow, my results pointed at ISFJ. While I know these tests are based on HUGE generalizations, I think ISFJ is relatively fitting for me. But then again, I haven’t looked at the descriptions of the other personality types so I guess I can’t really say for sure ;)

I’ve taken countless tests like this in high school but I can’t find/remember my results so -shrug-

• “Protector Guardian”
• Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.
• Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment’s notice. The older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven’t known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling.
• ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ.
• ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life.

<3/ALENA

We made a stop at Gameworks near MGM Grand, because the boyf had a Gameworks card with quite a few credits which strangely only worked in the Vegas location. We ended up winning a stuffed penguin with pink earmuffs! I fell in love immediately ;) I named him Fifty, because the boyf won $50 playing Blackjack in the little casino by our motel on the morning of Day 2. Being Vegas noobs & poor college kids in general, we were super excited by fifty bucks hahahah

Halfway on the Amtrak train traveling from Anaheim to Solana Beach, I realized Fifty wasn’t in my bag. I called Lux Bus the next day & they confirmed that I had left him on the bus the previous night & told me that he would be in their office in Orange, CA (basically a mile away from Angel Stadium) whenever I wanted to come pick him up.

So I immediately started to plan a trip to Anaheim for the approaching Saturday. You, dear reader may be echoing the thoughts of my good friend P: “What, going all the way up just for a penguin?” But you know, Fifty to me is more than just a stuffed animal. He represents the boyf&my first non-CA trip together! Our first overnight trip. I dunno, maybe I put too much sentimental value in inanimate things but dammit, I wanted Fifty back! So: Operation Save Fifty was created.

We essentially decided to create a day trip out of it. Make something good out of a bad situation. I had wanted to check out Rainforest Cafe (which has been labeled on a spectrum from “awesome” to “tourist trap ripoff”) that’s in Downtown Disney so… here was an opportunity!

Operation: Save Fifty! SUCCESS on Saturday, February 21 ;)

Rainforest Cafe was pretty dang unique & a cool experience! Definitely overpriced though ahah. Also, I had a lot of fun wandering around Downtown Disney with the boyf XD We also discovered some pretty places in the Disney hotel area!! Hidden gems ;)

Maybe it’s me just being cheesy but things seem a hundred times more fun when I’m with my behb… & you know you have a keeper when he’s willing to cheerfully travel several hours just to pick up a cheap stuffed penguin xoxo

<3/ALENA

I’m in the Geisel library basement right now & on the way here I mistyped “wordpress” as “wordpres.com”, & it quickly redirected me to yellowpages.com, auto-searching “technology.” Strange.

Anyhow, I am currently running on slightly less than two hours of sleep + two shots of espresso (& also half of curried chicken on ciabatta). I learned the other day that espresso isn’t actually a type of coffee bean like I had originally thought, but a WAY to brew your coffee (lots o’ pressure). Same ol’ coffee beans. Such a different taste. INTRIGUING. I also learned that espresso is not spelled with an x.

The other day, I had lunch with my freshman year apartmentmate (the only one I haven’t kept in touch with over the last 3 years). Some drama went down spring quarter of 2007 & we stopped talking since then. I contacted her again almost a year ago because she was my first friend down here in San Diego, my first real friend made out of high school. She was somebody I had clicked with almost as soon as we  had met, to the point where it was a bit obnoxious for outsiders. We had code names for everything. We IMed each other when sitting right across from each other in the living room. We wasted long, long hours doing god-knows-what into the night.

For some reason, I’ve also ended on a bad note with almost all of my aptmates over the years. I contacted them a little before Christmas, explaining that I did not want to graduate with any grudges, apologizing for my immaturity, and hoping there was no hard feelings. I got cheerful responses from two of them, but one is still mum to this day. Oh, well. I tried.

Anyway, back to my year 1 aptmate. We talked about the past mostly, & something I found interesting was neither of us could really remember what had happened to make us so angry with one another that we completely stopped interacting. She lamented that we hadn’t started doing this earlier as she was graduating this quarter. Afterwards, I commented to the boyf that she seemed a lot more bubbly now. He replied that he remembered her as bubbly, and that I was probably just recalling the last few weeks that we had been living together, when it was basically Cold War in A-22. Isn’t that sad?! This is why you must clear up grudges!

Speaking of which, I’m so so so grateful for my friends. I am a blessed little girl :) But at least I know it. #randombuttrue

You can type out my boyf’s first+last name with just your right hand #alsorandombuttrue

Today is payday! Whoowhoo! So this past month I spent 5x more than I usually do, & I was like WUT & feeling super irresponsible (& going DAMN YOU DISNEY REWARDS), until I realized (what I spent 01/2010) – (cost of textbooks) – (laker tickets) = what I usually spend. & it was like -sigh of relief- Textbooks cost a lot this quarter!

I think I lost my iPod. I’m feeling a bit bummed about that :[

My bacteriology book is heavy (on my back & on my mind). Time to study.

<3/alena